Archive for In the News
Two weeks ago, a 5 year old tantruming about apple juice forced an emergency landing of a flight headed for North Carolina out of NYC. See details here:
Okay, this is where I have both compassion, and shock.
It is likely that this child was so far out of control…that no one felt that they knew what to do. I have been there…and see kids turning white and parents afraid they will pass out. You and I have both seen embarrassed parents who just don’t know how to handle their tantruming child!
The good news is that this was the “Grand Performance” that occurred after many dress rehearsals.
In other words, this child has tantrumed many, many times before and mom and dad just haven’t handled it well. The “dress rehearsals” have happened at home, at the grocery store, the park, and maybe even at pre-school.
When behavior is extreme, it can be scary…but it doesn’t change the approach. Some of you have worked through such difficult challenges with your children by using solid approaches that really work. It would be great to share with other parents the sense of optimism (AND RELIEF) that comes from discovering that things do get better with a change in strategy!
Randy Cale, PhD
Here I was, in the autumn of my life, at the point where I could see the light at the end of the tunnel of raising my 3 kids (teenagers) when one fall almost 4 years ago, I found myself expecting! I have heard a variety of comments and advice (not all good) so I decided early on to take a very positive attitude. Since I had been a parent for over 20 years now- I have the benefit of knowing some of the mistakes I made in focusing on some of the wrong things (“weeds” as Dr Cale would say). I definately treasure this time even more as I carry my little one up to bed, I recall carrying my son to bed for the last time when he was 6 now that he’s 20 and almost 6ft tall! One of the coolest benefits, is that I get to “re-teach” my older kids what I wish I had said or done with them when they were younger.
Why a Powerless Parent, Like Alec Baldwin, Reacts with Anger!
(And How Children Learn To “Tune-out” Powerless Parents.)
In a research article published in the journal, Child Development, the authors explored the ways in which children learn how to respond when parents behave in powerless ways. In this article, I will explain the specific implications of these findings for parenting, and for the recent fiasco between Alec Baldwin and his daughter.
These findings serve to highlight and support a conclusion that I have observed for years with parents:
When parents feel they have lost control, they compensate with controlling, power driven strategies that only serve to make the situation worse.
Powerless Parents Use Exaggerated Tactics