Last week we discussed the power of the Golden Question, and one reader responded with this; “I am not sure I get all the fuss over a question…do questions really matter that much?”
The answer is YES. The questions we ask ourselves matter immensely. Most of us give little thought to the role that questions play in our lives. Even the reader above found himself asking a question, to challenge the role of questions!
In our minds, questions arise many, many times a day. You ask yourself thousands of questions each day. In addition, others ask you questions. Suffice it to say your brain is exposed to a ton of questions daily.
Now, think of this like a putting a question into Google. Google searches billions of sites to find an answer for your search. In a similar way, your brain (and your child’s brain) searches through billions of neurons to find the best answer available at that time. Brains are programmed to go on a mission to answer the question. We can’t really stop this process from happening.
Why Is This So Important?
Because Each Question in Your Brain Serves to Capture Attention and Energy.
Our minds seem to be incessantly creating questions to be answered. We engage in this inner dialogue, answering the inner questions and following the train of thought. Our energy and attention is controlled by the question!
We are constantly asking our kids questions, with little thought to how it teaches them where to focus their energy. What if every question you ask your child is like a seed that you plant, just waiting for the chance to grow. Is the seed going to produce beauty and strength, or will it produce lousy feelings and low self-esteem?
The same is true for each of us, as parents, leaders, employees, friends and family members. Each question we ask ourselves is capturing our attention and pointing us in a direction.
What If… You Become What You Think About Most?
It would then be critically important to take caution to ensure that we think about what we truly value the most. We would want to ‘plant’ only thoughts that shape a destiny we want and reflect our core values. Yes?
But what determines what we think about? Is that another question? Could it be that questions direct many of our internal thoughts? Are we really influenced by the questions we ask ourselves? Do we ask questions to ourselves that often?
Could it be that our children learn which questions to ask themselves, based upon the questions they hear from us? Do we really ask that many questions? Could it be that questions are one of the most powerful tools that shape the direction and quality of our children’s thinking? What if questions could be used in a very directed and thoughtful manner to form your child’s beliefs? Could you influence how and what they think about?
Interesting: lots of questions. Don’t you think?
Pay Attention: As Each Question Directs What We Think About…and Thus Shapes Destiny
At times, our brains come up with “lousy” questions. This can be based upon our worst history and experiences. These lousy questions lead to limiting, unhealthy thoughts and more questions, which lead to more unhealthy thoughts and ultimately to negative emotions and beliefs about ourselves.
Likewise, we can bring up very positive questions, based upon our best experiences and reflect our highest values. These questions lead to expansive answers, with significant implications for our daily actions. In many ways, the destiny we shape is at the mercy of the questions we ask ourselves and others.
Thus, take the questions you ask seriously, especially those questions you find coming up repeatedly. Many of those are driven by fear and anxiety and serve only to promote more tension and misery in your world. Instead, set an intention…a very strong, serious intention…to start your day with positively biased questions. These will take you, and those you love, in a very different direction! Here are few simple examples to perhaps get you started.
- How might I love more deeply, forgive more fully and live more passionately today?
- Where might I lighten the load for someone today?
- How could I open my heart and feel free to smile with abandon to everyone I meet?
- In what ways could I notice more beauty, and find more gratitude for my life?