Have We All Gone Mad? Raising Infants and Toddlers on Ms. Rachel

Despite the incredibly strong research support, let me risk sounding old-fashioned for a moment: have we all gone mad?

We now have infants and toddlers, barely able to walk without tipping over, watching hours of highly stimulating online content as if this is normal childhood. Ms. Rachel, CoComelon, Baby Shark, Blippi, and the endless parade of digital performers have become part babysitter, part pacifier, and part substitute parent.

This is not an attack on Ms. Rachel. By all appearances, she seems warm, sincere, and cheerful. The problem is not one performer. The problem is the cultural surrender. We are allowing screens to occupy the space where early childhood is supposed to happen.

The Young Brain Is Built Through Real Life

Infants and toddlers are not designed to be entertained for hours. They are designed to explore. They learn by crawling, reaching, falling, touching, tasting, dropping, banging, babbling, climbing, spilling, and watching your face. They learn through mud, grass, blocks, spoons, pots, pans, books, puddles, and repetition in the real world.

Their brain is not built by passively watching life. It is built by participating in life.

Yes, this participation is inconvenient. Real childhood is noisy. It includes yogurt on the wall, dirt in the fingernails, and a living room that looks like a small weather event moved through. But this is not a problem to be solved by a screen. This is childhood doing its job.

Research is increasingly pointing in the same direction. Heavy early screen exposure has been associated with delays in communication, problem-solving, social development, sensory regulation, sleep, and emotional adjustment. At the same time, outdoor play, hands-on exploration, and unstructured movement appear to support healthier emotional development. In other words, mud is doing more for your child’s brain than the “educational” video.

The Distorted Justification

Infants and toddlers do not need a digital teacher or a personal streaming schedule. They do not need hours of content to learn language, numbers, colors, or emotional expression. They need human beings talking with them, reading to them, playing with them, and allowing them to discover the ordinary world.

They need siblings to chase them, play with them, and make life a bit of a struggle at times. They need to feel some disappointment, frustration and not have a solution instantly.

A spoon dropped from the highchair teaches cause and effect. Blocks teach planning and frustration. A puddle teaches texture and wonder. A parent’s face teaches language, safety, humor, and emotional connection. No app improves on this. No video replaces this.

So when we justify hours of infant and toddler screen time by saying, “But it’s educational,” we are often fooling ourselves. Ask almost any grandparent. Babies and toddlers are supposed to play, crawl, babble, get messy, be held, be talked to, and explore. (Research again says grandma is right!).

Can Screens Teach? Sometimes. Are They Best? Almost Never.

As children get older, some media can be useful. A well-chosen science video, music lesson, or nature documentary can support learning. But this should never be confused with unrestricted access, endless scrolling, autoplay, or using screens as the default setting for childhood.

Screens can deliver information. Real life develops practical and emotional intelligence. Screens can name colors. Real play helps a child sort, compare, touch, build, spill, discover, and remember. Screens can show social behavior. Real interaction teaches waiting, sharing, reading facial expressions, handling frustration, and getting along with peers.

For infants and toddlers, this distinction matters most. Their young brains need the back-and-forth of real human interaction: the child looks, the parent responds; the child babbles, the parent answers; the child points, the adult names what is seen. That living exchange is brain food.

What Parents Should Do Now! No Excuses Please.

Less screen time is better, especially for infants and toddlers. Better for language. Better for attention. Better for sleep. Better for emotional regulation. Better for learning how to tolerate boredom. Better for learning how to play with other children.

For infants, screen time should be almost nonexistent, with video calls to loved ones as the exception. For toddlers, screens should be rare, brief, slow-paced, and shared with an adult. Sit with the child, talk about what is happening, and then turn it off. Do not let autoplay become the quiet dictator of your home.

Keep screens away from meals, bedrooms, and the morning routine. Replace the screen with something real. Put books, blocks, dolls, cars, balls, crayons, cardboard boxes, and outdoor clothing where children can reach them. Let them stir batter, carry leaves, dig in dirt, stack cups, sort socks, and help badly with simple chores.

If your child protests when the screen disappears, do not panic. Protest is not injury. Boredom is not damage. Frustration is not trauma. Learning to move through small discomforts is part of becoming emotionally sturdy. Do not rescue them from these moments. Allow them, as they will pass.

The goal is not to become anti-technology. The goal is to stop pretending technology is an equal substitute for real childhood.

Try this rule: people before screens, play before programs, movement before sitting, books before videos, and conversation before content.

That is not old-fashioned. That is how young brains grow.

At Capital District Neurofeedback, we work with children and adolescents struggling with attention, anxiety, emotional regulation, ADHD, sleep, learning challenges, and behavioral overwhelm. Through QEEG-guided neurofeedback, we help families understand each child’s unique brain patterns and support healthier self-regulation. To learn more, visit CapitalDistrictNeurofeedback.com or call 518-606-3805 to schedule a free consultation.