(800) 743-2134
Email via Form
Login
[miniorange_social_login]

Login with your site account

Lost your password?

Dr. Randy Cale Dr. Randy Cale
  • Neurofeedback
    • FAQs
  • Products
  • About
  • Blog
  • Neurofeedback
    • FAQs
  • Products
  • About
  • Blog
  • Home
  • ADD & ADHD
  • Managing the Child with ADD/ADHD – Part 2

Parent Coaching ADD & ADHD

24 Jul

Managing the Child with ADD/ADHD – Part 2

  • By Admin
  • In ADD & ADHD, All Posts, Parent Coaching
  • 0 comment
  • / Reading Time: 4 minutes
part-2-managing-the-child-with-add-adhd

A child with attentional issues, whether full ADD/ADHD or not, can be a challenge for parents. At times, it’s about keeping them on task. At other times, it’s managing the behavioral issues that evolve over time, as parental strategies fail with the more distractible, inattentive child.

The reason for this lies in the points reviewed last week, where I emphasized once again, the critical role of “weed feeding” with the challenging child. These more challenging children PULL for your attention in the worst of moments, and this happens over and over again. If you fail to manage the weed feeding, the remainder of the system reviewed here will fall apart. So please, make sure you understand those fundamentals covered in last week’s article.

Part II: Leverage: Never Give Up Your Leverage

This lesson points to the source of power we often neglect; leverage. Leverage is simple: this comes in the form of all the goodies, all the toys, all the electronics and everything your children enjoys.

If we learn to use this leverage early on, life is easy. Children learn that in order to get to the ‘goodies’ they must take care of their ‘business.’

From a practical perspective, there is a silent, daily message: It’s Work, then Play.

I emphasize this simple formula because it is the secret juice that can set you free when working with the more challenging aspects of ADD/ADHD. When you embrace this formula, then life gets simple. Why? Because you are using leverage to get cooperation—not your voice, your words, your threats or your yelling.

We use the leverage to make sure that the homework, the chores, and other responsibilities are done first (i.e., The Work)…before getting to the goodies (i.e., The Play). This is the core lesson to understand because the “Work, then Play” formula takes advantage of how your children automatically learn habits, whether easily focused or more distractible. Without leverage, you are at the mercy of their underlying physiological state to maintain focus…and for the attentionally challenged child, this doesn’t work out well.

Bottom line: Never give up your leverage.

Abandon Control Of Your Kids. Obsess On Control Of The Goodies.

This works in concert with our discussion last week. Instead of trying to control your children (almost impossible with ADD/ADHD), you now focus on controlling something much more practical: the goodies! It is essential to get very skilled at managing the stuff your children seek out for pleasure and enjoyment.

For easy children, this can mean that you simply say that the TV and playroom are off-limits until the homework is done. However, for your more challenging kids, you must take on control of the goodies more seriously. You will have to lock up the toys, shut down the electronics and perhaps lock up the bicycle in the garage. All these actions may be necessary early on with the child who brings a bit of defiance to the table, as is often the case with ADHD.

Simple solution: Remove/control the goodies, until the work is done.

Patiently Wait For The Insight: “It’s In My Interest To Get The Work Done.”

Now, you must wait. Some kids cooperate immediately, and some will waste time. Some will do nothing. Some will forcefully resist. Distractible children tend to come to the right understanding more slowly, but this cannot be a reason to change your game plan.

Be patient. Time is really on your side. You must let them learn that life will be easy for them, once they take care of their responsibilities. So, let them find their path to cooperation. Again, the speed of this path will vary. But the learning is predictable as long as you are able to keep your attention out of the distracting moments.

So be patient and abandon the reminders and the nagging. Allow the leverage to do its magic, and an easier life awaits!

Consider Small Chunks Of Work

If teachers and professionals concur that your son or daughter has a severe case of ADD/ADHD, you may need to slightly adjust your approach. Build-in ‘work’ demands as smaller chunks of time, before a period of play, is allowed. Thus, you might have two or three ‘Work, then Play’ segments in an afternoon. This often works wonderfully for the more distractible or energetic child.

Adjusting Their Underlying Physiology

In next week’s article, we will cover tactics to help the more severe child change the way their brain functions.

Tags:ADDADHDbehavioral issuesleverageparenting
  • Share:
Admin

You may also like

structure-and-stress

Less Stress: Why You Need the Simple Summer Plan!

  • June 5, 2023
  • by Admin
  • in All Posts
The end of this school year is upon us, and the pleasures of summer await. Yet, summer fun is...
fear-based-parenting
How Fear-Based Parenting Fails Your Children
May 15, 2023
beat-procrastination
How To Eliminate Procrastination
January 22, 2023
finding-some-real-peace-amidst-the-pressure-this-holiday-season
Twas the Night Before Christmas
December 24, 2022

Leave A Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get The Latest Updates

delivered by follow.it

Categories

  • All About Life (35)
  • All Posts (187)
  • Brain Neurofeedback (26)
    • Addiction (4)
    • ADHD (8)
    • Anxiety (8)
    • Autism-Aspergers (2)
    • Brain Mapping Assessment (QEEG) (3)
    • Depression (3)
    • Insomnia (2)
    • Migraines (1)
    • Neurofeedback Research (11)
    • What is Neurofeedback (3)
  • Parent Coaching (138)
    • Accountability & Responsibility (5)
    • Active Exercise & Movement (2)
    • Active Ignoring (1)
    • ADD & ADHD (4)
    • Anxiety & Fear (11)
    • Appreciation & Gratitude (2)
    • Arguing & Fighting (5)
    • Behavior Issues (14)
    • Behavior Topics (17)
    • Chores (6)
    • Communication (14)
    • Computers (2)
    • Confident Child (2)
    • Daily Routines (8)
    • Defiant Child (8)
    • Divorce (3)
    • Family Rules & Limits Setting (4)
    • Goals & Priorities (3)
    • Happiness (15)
    • Healthy Habits (10)
    • Holidays & Vacation (10)
    • Homework (6)
    • In The News (7)
    • Motivation (3)
    • Parenting News (1)
    • Parenting Styles & Role (4)
    • Public Behavior (2)
    • Respect (2)
    • Routines & Structure (7)
    • School Related (2)
    • Self-Esteem (3)
    • Siblings Battles (1)
    • Strong Willed (3)
    • Technology (2)
    • Teenagers (2)
    • Work At Home (1)

Recent Posts

  • Less Stress: Why You Need the Simple Summer Plan!
  • How Fear-Based Parenting Fails Your Children
  • How To Eliminate Procrastination
  • Twas the Night Before Christmas
  • Yes… It’s Tough Times

GET IN TOUCH

(800) 743-2134

634 Plank Rd, Clifton Park, NY 12065.

8am to 7pm Mon-Wed, Thu & Fri (PAO)

USEFUL LINKS

  • Terrific Parenting
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Success Stories
  • Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • Secure Shopping
  • NFB FAQs

Social Links

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Youtube

Newsletter

Discover The 12 Secrets of Nurturing
Your Child’s Self Esteem


Dr. Randy Cale | Copyright © 2023 | All Rights ReservedThimPress powered by WordPress | Customized & Maintained by RJA

  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Products