Why We Humans Struggle to Do What’s Good for Us (And How to Change That)
I hear it all the time from my clients — and it usually comes with a sheepish grin.
“Dr. Cale, I know I said I was going to start meditating… but then my dog looked at me funny, and somehow Netflix just… happened.”
Or, “I absolutely planned to go to bed early — but then I got hungry, and then Instagram needed me, and well, here we are.”
It’s charming, it’s human… and it’s utterly predictable. We all know what would make life better. Most people don’t need a shrink to tell them what’s best to do! But somehow, despite our best promises, we don’t always follow through.
Let’s talk about why – and more importantly, what you can do about it.
Why We Don’t Do What We Know is Good for Us
Our brains chase immediate rewards.
Your brain is wired to prioritize comfort and pleasure right now. It evolved to snag the quick win (food, shelter) rather than invest in long-term benefits. That’s why watching another episode feels easier than working out, even if you know better.
Feelings hijack our best intentions.
We often consult our emotions to decide what to do. If we feel tired, stressed, or unmotivated-which, let’s be honest, happens often-we delay or avoid doing what’s good for us. Emotions are valuable, but they are unreliable guides for long-term goals. I talked about this last week!
Old habits win by default. Research shows most of our behavior is automatic, not nearly as thought-out as we like to believe. We ARE creatures of habit. Thus, without clear, consistent effort to build new habits, the old, comfortable ones keep running the show — even if they’re making us miserable.
Waiting for motivation is a trap. Motivation is unpredictable and fleeting. It’s not the cause of action – it’s the result. Those who succeed act first, often without feeling ready, and find that motivation grows after movement begins.
In short: Your brain is like a well-meaning but slightly irresponsible roommate. It wants the cookie, the nap, the binge-watch — and it will offer you a thousand creative reasons why later is better than now. If you don’t learn to take charge lovingly but firmly, you’ll find yourself surrounded by broken promises, unopened gym memberships, and half-finished self-help books.
But don’t worry – it’s fixable. Let’s talk about how to outsmart that mischievous roommate and start doing what actually makes life better.
How to Start Doing What You Know is Good for You
Here are a few powerful strategies you can put into practice immediately:
1. Honor Intentions, Not Feelings. Decide that your word to yourself matters. If you said you’d walk at 6 PM, you walk — regardless of whether you feel tired, grumpy, or “just not into it.” Treat your promises like contracts.
2. Make the First Step Tiny. Lower the bar to start. Don’t commit to a five-mile run. Commit to tying your shoes. Don’t commit to meditating for 30 minutes. Commit to sitting quietly for one minute. Small beginnings overcome the brain’s inertia.
3. Link New Habits to Old Ones. Pair new behaviors with existing routines: journal right after morning coffee, stretch after brushing your teeth. Habit stacking makes new behaviors automatic faster.
4. Embrace Discomfort as Normal. Expect that doing good things for yourself will often feel uncomfortable at first. That discomfort isn’t a sign you’re failing; it’s a sign you’re winning. Growth happens just beyond the edge of comfort. Please remember this key point!
5. Celebrate the Effort, Not Just the Result. Progress isn’t perfection. Celebrate the action itself – showing up, trying, moving forward – and you’ll build positive momentum, even through messy days.
Final Thoughts: Real Change Is Within Reach
If you stick with it – tiny step by tiny step – change is inevitable. Most of the real change in life is incremental, despite our brains wanting the fast, amazing results. The life you want isn’t built in grand gestures or perfect days. It’s built in those small, brave moments when you act, even when you don’t feel like it.
And sometimes, when the brain feels stuck in old patterns, neurofeedback can help. At Capital District Neurofeedback, we offer gentle, proven training to help optimize focus, motivation, and follow-through. If you’re curious, visit CapitalDistrictNeurofeedback.com or contact us for a free consultation. We’d love to help.
